I found myself pondering the difference between humility and self-doubt this evening. To start this post and discussion, here are the definitions according to dictionary.com:
Humility: the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.
Self-doubt: lack of confidence in the reliability of one's own motives, personality, thought, etc.
When I was interviewing people for Hip and Sage, I talked with my friend and fellow author and blogger Dick Richards. I recall that he said that he felt that people who are sage are generally also humble - and that if he were judging sageness, he would look for humility.
And while we are at it, let's throw the word cocky into the mix:
Cocky: overly self-confident or self-assertive.
I was experiencing intermittent feelings of self-doubt and cockiness tonight - sometimes at the same time. And when I realized this, I reflected and shifted my thoughts to a more humble spot.
I think that BOTH self-doubt and cockiness come from a common place - insecurity. Humility, on the other hand, comes from being comfortable with who we are. And often - and this was true for me tonight - the insecurity is not logical.
Can we shift from self-doubt to humility? Yes, we can and quite quickly when we adopt a position of grace and joy and confidence in our skills, energy and intent. We live in a chaotic system (butterfly effect again) and we cannot predict the future. It would be time wasted to worry and second guess how others will respond to our work and overtures. But we can persevere, prepare and stay focused and in action. And when we do this we should feel comfortable with what comes from our work.
Many of our businesses reinforce self-doubt and cockiness and fail to cultivate humility. This is a shame and an area where I believe management development and management science can and should be improved. Why is it that our workplaces often leave us feeling insecure? Have we not yet jettisoned the outdated notions of management by coercion - or Pavlov's salivating dogs? Does it take humility to cultivate humility? Does business understand the value of humility? Is there a perception that insecure employees are easier to control?
Control is a farce - we know this deep down.
And I suppose that humility and insecurity are not mutually exclusive - we can be both humble and insecure. But for those situations where we show humility, I think there must be some level of comfort and security - or perhaps being gracious in the face of insecurity.
Some people are magnificent and flaunt it. Others are magnificent and humble. I know that I regard these two types of individuals differently, even if I admire all of them for their extraordinary skills or performance.
I think I will add to my list of 2009 resolutions - perhaps as a mantra more than a goal - to play at the top of my game with humility. This seems like a worthy endeavor.
Ah, human nature - so much daily-garden-variety neurosis to tend to, so little time. :-)